Life Issues Blog

One of the things the western world is most in need of is to be thankful for what they have.

Because, let’s face it. Despite the fact that there IS a recession, most of us still have a roof over our head, families and/or friends and food to eat. As long as you are not suffering from any significant mental health problems, shelter, food and people are the real needs in life. Possessions really aren’t that important, neither are holidays, TVs or cars, in the greater scheme of things. Think about it. Where do you get most of your happiness from? Does it come from your handbags, gadgets, cars or computers?

A lot of people don’t have these material possessions, and yet they are a lot better at being truly grateful for what they have – whereas our culture is so focused on lack and what we don’t have. I can’t do with people who enjoy having a good moan about how awful things are – although that said, it’s often tempting for me to moan when things aren’t going well.

I think we just need to get back to basics, and be truly thankful for the real essence of life – that of home, family, friends, food, music, nature, love, warmth. We’ve been very conditioned to place our values on possessions and material wealth. Now there is nothing wrong with these things, but if we look to them for happiness, we will not be truly happy.

I’ve not yet heard that anyone has died because of the recession. Yes, it may be tough being out of work, but also it could be an opportunity to take stock of your life and spend more time with the people you love. Take some time to think of the good things that are in your life, right now, and really start to appreciate what you have.

You may well have heard the expression that ‘less is more’. I wouldn’t say it applies in every single circumstance, but, one area I would say it applies is in terms of material possessions. Quality rather than quantity. I cannot understand why people keep things in the loft for years and never use them .. it’s ridiculous, why do people hold onto things they never use? I love having a clearout and find it theraputic – to me, when you get rid of the things which don’t have that much value, you appreciate more the things that do. I had a huge clearout of my CD collection and kept only the ones I really liked, to the extent that when I once had about 300 CDs, I now only have around 75. I gave a lot away to charity shops and sold some on Amazon. People may think I’m crazy for doing this, but I appreciate even more the music collection I still have. A small amount of things that you value highly is more important than a large amount of things, half of which you don’t like that much. And it makes moving house much easier, just a small tip…

It’s also better to have high quality friends rather than people who are supposedly friends but don’t really care that much about you. Also clothes .. women may think I’m being a bit rude here but .. honestly .. why have clothes in your wardrobe which you never even wear? I don’t get it. Why not give some clothes or shoes to the charity shop if you’re never likely to wear them?

Ultimately, of course, even though material possessions can be great, the ultimate happiness is within yourself. We’ve probably all done a bit of retail therapy when we’ve felt a bit down, but shopping won’t make you feel good in the long run. What things can you clear out and thus create a bit more space in your home? It’s worth doing, trust me.

This is another favourite topic of mine. I don’t particularly like extreme forms of positive thinking which paint the picture that you should have great wealth and great power, all the time. Plus I have made the decision to refuse to feel guilty if I’m not earning loads of money in 5 years time. Nothing wrong with wealth, but just because I like personal development and know that lots of money can be made from it, doesn’t mean that I have to earn lots. If I do, then fine. But more important to be yourself.

Also, sometimes you come to a place, which can be after you have been making progress in a particular area, where you realise that you still need to do a bit of work in a particular area. I suffered from shyness most of my life. Recently, being out of work has probably affected me a bit but it’s helped me to take a look at myself a bit more and I have become aware of certain thought patterns which were still controlling my life to a certain extent.

Anyway, I have written a few things down, which I find helpful. It seems to me that issues in your life are dealt with layer by layer. We’re not usually ready to deal with the whole package at once, it would overwhelm us. If you want to be set free in a particular area, it might take a while. Life does not usually involve quick fixes.

It’s important to be honest with yourself sometimes and evaluate where you are, not where you think you should be. And don’t beat yourself up if there are areas in your life which you feel are rubbish. Just imagine what you want to be ie. more confident, a harder worker, a better parent or spouse – and take baby steps towards getting better – it could involve speaking to someone else.

To your success!

This, as you may have worked out, is a very favourite topic of mine. In fact I could well have made a post about it already. But to be honest, I would be quite happy if I made 5 posts about self belief, as it’s such an important topic.

Each human being is born with an enormous amount of potential. However, over time, the negative conditioning that is so prevalent in this world can diminish one’s self belief, in some cases to the point where people feel they are failures or useless. However, in order to truly succeed in life, you will have to have shed loads of self belief, because there are so many circumstances that could easily knock you off your perch.

In order to have it, it’s usually a process, but you must eliminate the word ‘can’t’ from your vocabulary, at all costs. As Henry Ford said ‘If you believe you can or can’t, you’re probably right’. Now let me say that self belief might not make you a world changer, but if you want to make anything much from your life, you have to believe that you CAN do things. Of course, there are some things that are unrealistic, but the place to start is to say and believe that you can make your life count. If you truly come to the point where you think this, then the world is potentially your oyster.

There are times when you feel like giving up, I doubt there is one person who has accomplished much who never felt like giving up, but during those times you need to fill your life with positive input. In my case, I read books and browse uplifting internet sites. You are worth investing in. Rather than watch the news all the time and concentrate on all the shit that happens in the world, how about reading about people who do good? ‘Be The Change’ by Trenna Cormack is a good book. It’s about time this country became something rather than a nation of whingers. And certainly a good start would be for people to think better of themselves.

I personally believe that there is an interesting relationship between these two states, and I don’t believe it is necessary to be 100% positive, all of the time. By nature I can easily get drawn into negatives. However, it is important not to permanently wallow in self-pity, and also I believe it’s important to use the negative in a positive way.

Sometimes we just have bad days due to things we can’t control, and it’s not always easy to stay happy and clappy in these circumstances, is it? I believe that ranting and venting is good sometimes – letting out our emotions can make us freer. If someone is ranting to get attention or to tell other people what a bastard or bitch someone else is, then that’s a problem. However, it is quite okay, in my opinion, to temporarily rant about how crap life is and how crap things are, as long as it is only a temporary thing. I do sometimes. The positive can often come in more easily after  the negative has been released.

Also it’s good when we’re feeling down to read positive literature, that will boost our self belief and confidence when we are feeling down. I read books or internet sites such as Fiona Harrold’s one (link on my blog) which is very uplifting. I do believe that a positive attitude to life is very, very important, but I think it’s okay to feel down from time to time, and be real. Dr John Demartini who is one of the foremost minds on personal/spiritual development, talks about the balance between positive and negative in one of his books. Even though I find his literature quite hard to read in some ways, it certainly has some valid points and he doesn’t paint the picture that everything is always rosy.

As you develop in the area of emotions, it could be that you’re more positive most of the time. But don’t beat yourself up for not feeling grand all the time.

Hard times. Sound familiar? Yep, me too. No-one likes going through difficulties, but they are a part of life and however positive you are, life is never plain sailing. The big difference can be in your attitude towards difficulties – you can think ‘this is ****ing terrible. Why me?’ or you can stay trusting that life is working its own pattern and that whatever happens, you will be okay. And even if you do feel like you have reached the bottom, there is still a chance that you have some inner strength inside of you somewhere.

Even if you love life, sometimes an unexpected turn will occur. But if you stay focused and strong, you will get to the other side. The mindset is so important. When Donald Trump was a billion dollars in debt, he still had a mindset of wealth and abundance, that enabled him to recover his wealth. Where is your mindset? Is it saying that you’re no good, that things never work out? Or are you determined to see your victory and breakthrough, and stick at it whatever it takes.

Hello!

I’m going to try and update this blog a bit more often, and also try and find ways to get more traffic (the lack of readers is probably one of the reasons why I haven’t updated so much, that plus not having a computer for a bit). Anyway…

This concept I’m going to talk about is something that is mentioned often in personal development circles, and it is so true. A lot of the time, people are focused on what they DON’T want rather than what they do want – for example, when I asked someone what kind of a boyfriend she might want, the reply was ‘someone who isn’t dodgy’ – and not mentioning any good qualities. Or if someone wants to lose weight, they might say ‘Mustn’t eat chocolate’ rather than ‘must eat nice healthy meals’.

Our subconscious mind cannot process a negative thought – regardless of whether we want or don’t want something, if we are focusing on it, the more likely we are going to get it. If we are focusing on a negative outcome rather than a positive outcome, a negative outcome is more likely to manifest. Of course, not everything will turn out right every time and there are some things which are out of our control, but if we want something, be it a job, a relationship, a new career, we must focus on what we DO want out of it. People have been hurt and disappointed which causes them to think negatively and hope to avoid the worst rather than have the best, but that kind of thinking can be overcome. 

So, I want you to write a goal or target of yours and write out all the POSITIVE reasons that you want it – reasons like ‘to stop being lonely’ ‘to stop being broke’ – are negatives and that is what the mind will focus on if you let it.

Anyway, will catch up with this blog soon.

This is something I’ve been kind of thinking about recently, and it is very important. I totally believe that in order to live a successful life, you have to be involved in things you are passionate about.

There are some self-help books which seem to imply that anyone can become a millionaire if they work hard enough and put their mind to it. I personally doubt this is true. Whilst it is true that you don’t necessarily have to be anyone particularly special to earn lots of money and be successful in business, one thing you will need is a passion for the things that will help you earn money. And not everyone will be passionate about the same thing.

For example, in case you hadn’t already worked out, I am very much into personal development, and I want to do things in the future in that field. But not everyone is. There’s no shame on not being massively ambitious, as long as there is something you are passionate about doing, and do it well – even if it is being a stay-at-home housewife. You might say to me – ‘Andy, I don’t know what my passions are’ – which is a fair point – often we don’t sit down and look at what we really like doing. But I bet if you took some time out, you’d find something you were really passionate about and wanted to get involved in – even if it isn’t a money earner.

Go ahead and discover what your passions are – it is worth it.

Well, this is probably one of the most important concepts to grasp and yet there are so few people who are grateful for what they’ve got. Most of the time people focus on what they want or what they haven’t got. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with material possessions or a nice house. However, when we feel our life is not up to scratch because we don’t currently have something we want, then there’s a problem. And there is definitely a problem when single people feel unhappy because of their lack of a partner. Again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a significant other, but it must not get to the stage where it controls our life.

Happiness is an inside job, first and foremost. It starts from within. So many people make the mistake of relying on other people or things to make them happy, and whilst it is undoubtedly important to have friends, it is perhaps even more important to have a strong sense of self worth and identity.

Being grateful for what you have is so important, and it’s something I know I need to sharpen up on. Today, make a list of things that you have, that there is a genuine reason to be grateful for – eg. car, house, pet, job, friends, music, hobbies – the list could go on and on. A friend of mine did a 30 day of things she was grateful for, for each day and then listed the reasons why. It would make you realise that perhaps you’ve got it good compared to a lot of people. Being grateful for what you’ve got will also attract you to greater things in your life.

So what have you got to be thankful for today?